hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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