just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
