i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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