Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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