im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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