we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
bring money and cleavage
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
