She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
