if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
