Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
