i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
