I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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