My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
