some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
