can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
