you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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