yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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