I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize