Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
