Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
