just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
