Me. At least after what I've been through.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
