I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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