and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
