Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
