I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
