i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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