i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
