Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
