At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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