Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
