around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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