You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
