proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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