it hurts more in the daytime
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
