I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize