love makes seman taste better
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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