if you like me you must not know who I am
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
