She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
