the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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