It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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