In the future we'll all be gay
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have aggressive nipples.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
