i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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