Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
