i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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