dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
