hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
