pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize