party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
