Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
