This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My pussy is not your playground.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
