whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can text with my tongue
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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