Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
