don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's like heaven, but drunker
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
