I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
