I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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