are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
