i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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