Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
