Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize