Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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