Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize