at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
