She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
