I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
