I can tuck mytits in my pants
Soap is not a condiment
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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