Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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