Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
