Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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