i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
