well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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