they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
