I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
