Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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