i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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