I hope mine doesn't look like that
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
