hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize