I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
