Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
