And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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