Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i've created a new STD.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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